she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
