Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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