bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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