Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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