My hand turned me down
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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