i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
