i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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