In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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