right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
