Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
