And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
