Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
