how can u be prego again
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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