The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
