I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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