His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
