I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
