So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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