i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
