My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Randomize
