I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
