Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
