I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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