sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
