come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
she pinky promised me she was 18
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
