Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
