Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
