Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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