Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
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