You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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