After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
