You're earring is so big in my mouth
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
