No awkward lesbian experiences without me
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just had sex on a roof
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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