I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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