Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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