I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
