Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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