I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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