Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i dont even know how to be here
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
