Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
