we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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