Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
