So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
