That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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