i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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