I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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