i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
he shaved USA in his pubs
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
