it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
