is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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