im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
we're so committed to being not committed
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
