You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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