You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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