awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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